This will probably be the last installment of Things I've Learned from my Dogs. Neglected, but not Forgotten, I've accepted that my dogs aren't quite the philosophical force I wanted them to be, and I struggled to come up with these last few things. I'm sure I will learn more from them in the future, but I will probably just post those things on Twitter/Facebook.
1. Let the other guy win now and then. Then, when you really want to win, his guard will be down
2. There is nothing better for itchy eyes than someone’s brand new pants. Especially if the person is wearing them and about to walk out the door.
3. Always watch eagerly for family and friends to arrive at your home. It makes them feel doubly welcome.
4. A squeaky wheel may get grease, but a yippy, high-pitched bark will get one let inside much faster.
5. If you can make a person laugh, they will probably give you anything you want.
6. Chin down, eyes up. Look pathetic.
7. Bark softly, and carry a big toy.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
The Conclusion of La Saga del Arroz . . . Loosely Translated to "Rice Drama."
I confess to being the worst blogger, ever. It's not that I haven't wanted to, it's just that I haven't really had anything I felt worthy of posting (read: that anyone would want to read.) Most of the eventful happenings lately have been sufficiently summed up in 140 characters or less, and therefore posted on Facebook and Twitter.
However, I am not starting my second week of vacation, and with a nightmarish amount of housecleaning and several trips to stores for exchanges ahead of me, I suddenly want to blog more than anything else.
So, the update/conclusion of the Saga of the Rice. (You can find the back story here: A White Girl's Mexican Fiesta and here: How to Make Rice, Courtesy of Facebook)
The Saga del Arroz continued on well past the September attempt. I tried my microwave rice cooker multiple times. It's crap. I got a bagful of boil in bag rice, microwave rice, Minute Rice, etc. for my birthday from a wonderful friend. (And a really great smelling candle!) Not that the rice wasn't appreciated, and it has in fact all been used up. But it just doesn't taste the same. Plus, this was far beyond just making rice for me. Oh, yes, this was now about my pride! I mean, really, is rice really that hard? (Yes.) Who can't make rice? (Lots of people, I keep telling myself.) I refused to be owned by that tiny little grain! (Though deep down, I knew I ultimately would be.)
The microwave rice cooker has been tossed in the trash. I guess I could have kept it to steam vegetables with, but they make microwave bags for that. And unlike rice, they do taste the same! I now have a shiny new plug in rice cooker, courtesy of my sister and brother-in-law. I'm sure the motivation was purely genuine, though I'm sure a little ironic snickering went on, too. (You guys know I'm right!)
So today, I pulled it out, cleaned it and tried it for the first time. Followed the instructions EXACTLY. (Not that I hadn't the times before, but. . . well. . . ) Measured the rice with the little cup that came with the cooker (really, World, why can't we just all get on the same measuring system?) (Did you know there are even different Metric Systems??? No lie. Click here and scroll down if you don't believe me.)
Rinsed and soaked my rice (I used brown), plugged it in and waited. When I walked by 30 minutes later and it was done, I panicked. I always had to cook brown rice on the stove top for an hour, and it STILL came out undercooked! But I waited 5 more minutes because the directions said to (and I wasn't sure exactly when it finished cooking) and I texted my sister and my friend to tell them that in 5 minutes I would either be eating perfect rice, or posting yet another failure story in which I admit complete and utter defeat, resigning myself to Minute Rice for the rest of my life. (Which is fine, but we like to fry rice, and Minute Rice just doesn't hold up as well.)
I opened the cooker, and BOO-YAH!!! PERFECT RICE!! PERFECT RICE!! PERRRRRRRRRFEEEEEEEECT RIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!!!!! YOU'VE BEEN OWNED, RICE!! BY ME!! BY ME!! HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, TO BE OWNED BY THE WORST COOK EVERRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Crap. Now what am I going to write about?
However, I am not starting my second week of vacation, and with a nightmarish amount of housecleaning and several trips to stores for exchanges ahead of me, I suddenly want to blog more than anything else.
So, the update/conclusion of the Saga of the Rice. (You can find the back story here: A White Girl's Mexican Fiesta and here: How to Make Rice, Courtesy of Facebook)
The Saga del Arroz continued on well past the September attempt. I tried my microwave rice cooker multiple times. It's crap. I got a bagful of boil in bag rice, microwave rice, Minute Rice, etc. for my birthday from a wonderful friend. (And a really great smelling candle!) Not that the rice wasn't appreciated, and it has in fact all been used up. But it just doesn't taste the same. Plus, this was far beyond just making rice for me. Oh, yes, this was now about my pride! I mean, really, is rice really that hard? (Yes.) Who can't make rice? (Lots of people, I keep telling myself.) I refused to be owned by that tiny little grain! (Though deep down, I knew I ultimately would be.)
The microwave rice cooker has been tossed in the trash. I guess I could have kept it to steam vegetables with, but they make microwave bags for that. And unlike rice, they do taste the same! I now have a shiny new plug in rice cooker, courtesy of my sister and brother-in-law. I'm sure the motivation was purely genuine, though I'm sure a little ironic snickering went on, too. (You guys know I'm right!)
So today, I pulled it out, cleaned it and tried it for the first time. Followed the instructions EXACTLY. (Not that I hadn't the times before, but. . . well. . . ) Measured the rice with the little cup that came with the cooker (really, World, why can't we just all get on the same measuring system?) (Did you know there are even different Metric Systems??? No lie. Click here and scroll down if you don't believe me.)
Rinsed and soaked my rice (I used brown), plugged it in and waited. When I walked by 30 minutes later and it was done, I panicked. I always had to cook brown rice on the stove top for an hour, and it STILL came out undercooked! But I waited 5 more minutes because the directions said to (and I wasn't sure exactly when it finished cooking) and I texted my sister and my friend to tell them that in 5 minutes I would either be eating perfect rice, or posting yet another failure story in which I admit complete and utter defeat, resigning myself to Minute Rice for the rest of my life. (Which is fine, but we like to fry rice, and Minute Rice just doesn't hold up as well.)
I opened the cooker, and BOO-YAH!!! PERFECT RICE!! PERFECT RICE!! PERRRRRRRRRFEEEEEEEECT RIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!!!!! YOU'VE BEEN OWNED, RICE!! BY ME!! BY ME!! HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL, TO BE OWNED BY THE WORST COOK EVERRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Crap. Now what am I going to write about?
How to Make Rice, According to Facebook. . .
I am about to actually write a blog post for the first time in half a year, but some people may need the back story behind it. Since not all of my readers are Facebook users (and since my profile is private, they wouldn't be able to see the exchange), I am posting the back story below. (The format is a little off. I haven't figured out how to capture a screenshot of a scrolling window on my Mac, so Cut and Paste had to do.)
(Cut and Paste wound up being a bigger pain than I thought, as I still had to go back, out of courtesy for my friends and family, and delete last names and other identifying info, such as photos.)
For the back-back-story, click here: A White Girl's Mexican Fiesta
(Cut and Paste wound up being a bigger pain than I thought, as I still had to go back, out of courtesy for my friends and family, and delete last names and other identifying info, such as photos.)
For the back-back-story, click here: A White Girl's Mexican Fiesta
September 13 at 5:16pm · Custom: loading... · ·
Phouvanh Do you have a rice cooker? If you don't than use a regular pot. How ever much rice you want to cook make sure filled about 1/2 or 3/4 inches of water above the rice. Use your pointing finger to measure. If the water is between 1st and 2nd line of your finger than it should be good. When the rice absort all the water then low the heat and keep the pot covered at all time so the steam cook the rice. Make sure you check it often to see if the rice is cooked to your satisfaction.
September 13 at 5:32pm ·
Leslie ClarkMarc- two steps (glasses) ahead of you. :)
Emily- I'm out and we are broke until Wednesday. I failed in "planning ahead." ;)
Wanh- I love the thought of coming and getting it from you. I know you haven't been my Facebook friend long, but ...my stories about failed attempts at rice (and pretty much any cooking) are legendary. I'll try again with your tips. I have one of those microwave rice cookers, but I bet you are talking about the really cool ones that plug in, aren't you? my stories about failed attempts at rice (and pretty much any cooking) are legendary. I'll try again with your tips. I have one of those microwave rice cookers, but I bet you are talking about the really cool ones that plug in, aren't you?
September 13 at 5:39pm ·
Leslie Clark Ummm. . . does Pei Wei qualify as actual Asian? I didn't know they would sell just rice. Of course, being 2 days before payday, I can't do that, either. That's why I'm stuck with the regular bag rice. . . all we have left!!
September 13 at 6:18pm ·
Leslie Clark Tosha, rice is my holy Grail. There is no way I will go to my grave having failed to ever cook it properly. Though it seems to be coming out ok so far. I'll let you know!
September 13 at 6:34pm ·
Leslie ClarkWell, it definitely is my best effort yet! The problem is that the husband didn't believe the steam would cook it and kept turning the stove off when I wasn't looking. He thought it was going to burn. But it cooked evenly (never had that... happen) and was still edible, if a little al dente. :)
Wanh- here are my questions for next time: 1- do you ever stir the rice? 2- Is it possible to boil too much of the water out before you turn the heat down? Or do I want the water pretty much gone?
Audrey- It was literally a last minute decision. I had been planning to make potatoes before I discovered they had gone bad! But I am for sure going to try again this week.
September 13 at 7:30pm ·
Audrey well, let me know and I will come over.
September 13 at 7:33pm ·- Tosha Ill have to try those tricks...I only tried rice once and it was awful..the hubby was nice enough to lie and tell me it was good...but i thought it was terrible.
September 13 at 7:35pm ·
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