And Now for the First Episode of "Maybe I Should Have Thought This Through a Little More. . . "

1. "I'm wearing black pants and a black shirt. I think I'll brush my dogs now."

2. "Look! Our margaritas came with extra shots! Do you want yours?"

3. "The rule plainly states, 'Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.' I don't think the amount of each has any relevance at all."

4. "I'm giving all of my summer clothes to Goodwill. I'll have lost 15 pounds by next summer, anyway."

5. "No, thanks. I think I can evenly spread sun block on my own back without missing any spots."