Quotes and Exchanges from a Weekend with the Nephews. . .

Rather than bore you with the synopsis of the weekend, I am just going to share some witty little tidbits of conversation between my 7 year old and 10 year old nephews and Bill and I from last weekend. The only particular order these are in is the order in which I remember them.

Leslie: "Do you know what I will do if you spill that drink in my car?"
Connor (7): "Take me in the bathroom, turn me upside down, and give me a 'twirlie?'"
***************

Sean (10): "Can we go to Logan's for dinner?"
***************

After Connor has been quizzing me about his church for awhile, asking questions such as "Do we have a flat screen?" and "Do we have video games?" --

Sean: "The answer to every question you ask her is yes!"
Connor: "Do we have a camel that kicks you as you walk in?"
***************

Leslie: "Since Sean picked where we are going for lunch, Connor, you can pick what we get for dessert."

. . . after lunch . . .

Connor: "I'm full. I don't want dessert."
Leslie: "Ok. Sean, what do you want for dessert."
Connor: "But you said I could pick!"
Leslie: "But you aren't going to eat any. . ."
Connor: "But you said I could pick."
Sean: "He's right. You said he could pick."
***************

At the pool, where Sean has been standing on top of the water slide for 15 minutes and is still dry:

Leslie: "Are you ok?"
Sean: "Yes."
Leslie: "Are you going to slide down, or are you going to hang out up there and work on your tan all day?"
Sean: "There's no lifeguard up here." (Mind you, there are 5 life guards on duty and only about 20 kids in the entire pool. Just no lifeguard at the top of the slide that only 3 kids are using.)
Leslie: "So?"
Sean: "Well, somebody's got to be in charge! These people don't know how to read!"
***************

Sean: "Can we eat at Logan's?"
***************

Leslie, in a text to Bill: "Gold Star for you Uncle Bill. You let one nephew snow you into renting video games that are for the PS3, which coincidentally, has only one controller."
Bill: "Don't let him fool you. One of those is for the Wii." (which has multiple controllers.)
Leslie: "My bad. I asked the other nephew why he wasn't playing, and he told me they were both for the PS3. I wonder who he got that idea from????"
***************

Here's one especially for those of you that know about the drama that ensues everytime I have to put my dogs outside--

Connor: "Abbey and Zoey wanted in so I let them in."
Leslie: "But I just put them out. And we are about to leave!"
***************

Leslie: "So, Sean, do you not like to swim and jump off of the diving board anymore?"
Sean: "Not really."
Leslie: " Then what do you do when you go to the pool?"
Sean: "Work on my tan, watch people, and push girls in the pool."
Leslie: "You push girls in the pool, or you watch people push girls in the pool?"
Sean: "Both."
***************

Sean: "Can we go eat at Logan's?"
***************

I truly may never be ready to be a parent. I adore my nephews and am even a little sad that I didn't get my 14 year old one for the weekend. But I would be lying if I said I did not relish in the utter silence that consumed my house that night. :)

The First Installment of "Things My Dogs Have Taught Me About Life."

I believe that dogs are hands down the happiest species in the world. As humans, being generally discontented most of the time with what we do or do not have, I think we can learn from dogs. This is what I have come up with so far. I'm sure they will teach me more. These are all written from my dogs' perspectives. I'll leave you to draw your own parallels.

1. Protect what you love with everything you have.

2. Yes, we make mistakes and sometimes get mad at each other. But, really, we should all be just a belly scratch and a Milk Bone away from forgiveness.

3. For optimal functionality, 16 hours of sleep daily is a must.

4. The outside world is a scary place. Never go alone.

5. Love everyone, but know who feeds you, who scratches your belly, and who sneaks you food from the table. These are your true friends.

6. If the ones you love feel threatened by someone, there is probably a reason for it. Be prepared to bite that someone on their behalf.

7. If you don't take time to check out/ sniff EVERYTHING everytime you go out, how will you know if someone new has been in your vicinity?

8. Old toys that haven't been played with for a long time are just as good as new toys.

9. Find time to curl up in your favorite spot and just sit.

10. Times will come when the one you love is upset and you just can't understand why. But even though you can't say anything to help, often just nuzzling her with your nose, licking her face, and letting her cry into your fur makes it all better.

And Now for the First Episode of "Maybe I Should Have Thought This Through a Little More. . . "

1. "I'm wearing black pants and a black shirt. I think I'll brush my dogs now."

2. "Look! Our margaritas came with extra shots! Do you want yours?"

3. "The rule plainly states, 'Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.' I don't think the amount of each has any relevance at all."

4. "I'm giving all of my summer clothes to Goodwill. I'll have lost 15 pounds by next summer, anyway."

5. "No, thanks. I think I can evenly spread sun block on my own back without missing any spots."