2010. . . Whatever.

For the link to my actual blog:  http://ldclark12.blogspot.com

Well, here I am again, writing the third annual Leslie Clark Year-in-Review.  I don't know what spurred me to begin this tradition, but now I feel obligated to keep it up.  It is interesting to go back and look over how things have changed.

10 years ago today I was halfway to college graduation, partying in with college friends with no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

5 years ago today I was preparing to be engaged, 4 years into my teaching my career, and already questioning whether I would be able to continue teaching until retirement.

2 years ago today I had begun a Master's degree fully preparing to leave education.

Today I have a Master's degree that I am not using, I'm still in education, and I still don't know what I want to do with my life.  All I know is that I have great family and great friends.

I think I want to be a Yoga or Pilates instructor.  But that's another blog post.

There really isn't much to reflect on this year.  Other than one major event, it has been a very quiet year.  It has been a year of healing, however, and a year of learning to let go, of learning that I don't have to have all of the answers, even if I think I do.  It has been a year of great disillusionment as I've seen many things that aren't as they appear to be, or how I think they should be.  It has been a year of wondering and questioning and doubting.  "The year of the Mustard Seed," I like to call it.

It doesn't even really feel like a new year is about to roll over.  It just feels like I am in this place of waiting, the place Dr. Seuss warned us all about.  I have no idea what I'm really waiting for.  Well, waiting for someone to show up and spontaneously clean my house, of course.  Who isn't?  But also waiting for something else.  Something big.

Last year I made a pledge to take a great big step out in faith.  Well, I did, and it wound up being the most painful think I have ever had to endure.  I'm sure I will take the same step this new year when the time comes, but I don't know if I will be able to take it as eagerly as I did before.  

It is also the time for making a bunch of promises to myself I probably won't keep.  Really, whose bright idea was the "New Year's Resolution?"  So in order to make myself feel less guilty when these promises fall on their respective faces, I will not be making a list of "New Year's Resolutions" this year.  Instead, I will be making a list of "New Year's Intentions."

1.  I intend to get myself back in shape, in shape enough that I can run 10 miles without stopping.  Not in any specific time, but just do it.  I discovered this year that I would rather just run and run and run rather than try to finish a set distance or run for a set amount of time.  So the number 10 is arbitrary, but I feel like I have to put a number in the intention somewhere.

2.  I intend to renew my relationship with God.  I spent the better part of 2009 being mad at him, but I know I need him.  Some will call me weak for this, and that's ok.

3.  I intend to find a way to work with children, whether it be volunteering somewhere, getting back into a classroom, or SOMETHING.  I MISS KIDS.

I think I'm going to stop with just those three right now.  But I've also been thinking about things I would like to do before I die.  Don't really know why I've been thinking these things.  Probably just bored with vacation.  No, that can't be it. . . but here are some of the things I've come up with:

1.  Get my dogs trained and certified for Love on a Leash.  (Claire and Chelsey, you can stop laughing anytime now.)
2.  Sit in the live audience of Saturday Night Live.
3.  Go to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
4.  Go to Spain, Italy, Austrailia, and Ireland.
5.  Live ANYWHERE but here.  At least for awhile!
6.  Own a Wrangler/ Rubicon again.  (I miss mine so much!!)
7.  Be debt free.
8.  Backpack from coast to coast.
9.  Go back to Vegas and ride EVERY roller coaster.
10.  Go to Walt Disney World.
11.  Go to Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks.

That's it so far.  I think there were others, but I can't remember them.  That's what I get for not writing them down!

Thank you to those who choose to share in my narcissistic blogging about all things me.  :)   I hope you all have a wonderful, safe, and reflective New Year's Eve, and a Happy New Year's Day.  May your new year be filled with blessings, and may it not take you until April to stop dating things 2009.  :)

Here's to 2010. . . Whatever.

Peace,
Leslie